Nostalgia Trip #2: Maid Marian and her Merry Men

In honour of the fact that's it's Pancake Day, yes it's Pancake Day, it's P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-pancake Day:

Maid Marian and her Merry Men was slightly before my time, but thanks to the fact the BBC actually used to repeat shows, I had the chance to catch it in the early 00s.

It turned the traditional Robin Hood myth on its head and brought us the supposedy 'true' version of events. In this, Robin of Kensington was a wimpy fashion designer who only joined the band due to being bullied into it by Marian, and his one great contribution was suggesting they all wear green to "co-ordinate with the trees."

Marian was a bossy, gobby feminist type (I'm starting to see why I warmed to this show as a twelve-year-old), very much in charge and certain that one day, history will tell her story accurately. Brilliantly, she scoffs at the idea of her and Robin ever being in a relationship, and thankfully doesn't fall prey to the oh-so-dull trope of the damsel in distress. (I'll stop there, lest I end up going into a several thousand word analysis about the use of the subversive to grant women agency in children's narratives. Though there's a potential thesis topic if I'm ever mad enough to do an MA).

The other, slightly ineffectual Merry Men were Little Ron (he was little), Rabies (he was even more stupid than the others) and Barrington (somewhat inexplicably for something set in the 12th century, a Rasta). The comedy mostly stemmed from the fact they were all a bit rubbish, and most of their attempts to thwart the Sheriff of Nottingham et al. only succeeded through a series of lucky accidents.

The aforementioned Sheriff was played by a wonderfully hammy post-Baldrick Tony Robinson, who also penned the show. King John was the traditional snarling baddie, while Guy of Gisbourne was a spoiled, brattish 20-something who acted like a 4-year-old.

I think, after careful consideration, I prefer Richard Armitage, ta.

It gently took the piss out of most things - memorably Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves but also Comic Relief (where they staged a telethon called 'Colin's Release' to rescue a chicken called Colin) and The Crystal Maze.

And an emminently singable theme tune as well. What more could you want?

I realise I'm starting to sound slightly obsessed with the Robin Hood mythos. I'm not, but as it's the only slightly interesting thing to ever come from the East Midlands, I have an innate fondness for it. And refuse to let Yorkshire try and steal it off us.

Nottingham's got a statue and everything:

Groping Robin Hood's manly thigh. To clarify, I'm the one on the left.

Ok ok, the East Midlands also brought the world The Elephant Man and Adrian Mole.

(For my non-British friends, an explanation of today's odd obsession with pancakes. All major Christian festivals in the UK now boil down to eating lots of food. I approve).

Nostalgia trip #1: The Animals of Farthing Wood

That isn't just a great theme tune. It's a great piece of music in its own right.

The Animals of Farthing Wood is possibly my favourite television programme. Ever. It started in January 1993, when I was four years old, and ran for three seasons. Season three was a big pile of poo (I believe they may well have been my actual words back in 1995), but the first two are sheer brilliance.

Based on a series of books by Colin Dann, the basic plot was that Farthing Wood was being destroyed by humans in order to build a housing estate. With nowhere to live, the animals travelled to the nature reserve White Deer Park, bound together by the Oath of mutual protection. Season one was about their journey, and seasons two and three dealt with life in the park.

It was so brilliant because they didn't treat young children like idiots - which was the major issue with season three. The series dealt with death, sometimes in quite horrific ways. The baby fieldmice, for example, were killed by a butcher bird and impaled on thorns:


I'm still amazed they got away with showing that at about half past three on a weekday afternoon. Perhaps the fact it's a cartoon and about animals negates the violence somewhat, but it's still an image that has stuck with me for seventeen years. I can't, for example, imagine a show where Mr & Mrs Jones come home and find their newborn baby has been stuck on a meathook being classified as 'Universal - suitable for all' by the BBFC.

In addition to that, the newt family got burned to death in a fire, the pheasants got shot by a farmer, Baby Rabbit got shot by a hunter, Fox and Vixen were both nearly killed by a fox hunt, and Mr and Mrs Hedgehog were run over trying to cross the motorway. And that's just in the first thirteen episodes.

But this was why it was so popular. It wasn't condescending to children - instead it showed the realities of life and death for a group of wild animals. While it had an environmental concern, it was never overly preachy or moralistic. And it made me vehemently opposed to fox hunting at the age of four, which isn't necessarily a popular decision when growing up in Leicestershire. (As an aside, pointing out that I went to school in Quorn for four years usually shuts hunt supporters up when they try and tell me that as a 'city person' I know nothing about country life. Stuff like fox hunting is precisely what made me decide being a city person is the way forward).

And Bold. Oh, poor Bold. Nothing on television has ever broken my heart quite so much as Bold's death. Even when I rewatched it recently - I still have my grainy, off-air VHS copies - it still made me cry my eyes out. In brief (though it's somewhat convoluted), Fox was the leader of the animals on their journey from Farthing Wood. Bold was his oldest son, and always resented living in his father's shadow. Despite everyone's advice, he decided to make it out on his own in the 'real world' rather than being constantly under the protection of the nature reserve. Unsurprisingly, this didn't go particularly well, and he was lamed after being shot by a farmer. He then shacked up with Whisper, who got pregnant and insisted they go back to White Deer Park, saying that the only reason she was with him was so her cubs would be related to Fox. They then travelled to White Deer Park, Bold reconciled with his father, and promptly dropped dead.

This was a show supposedly aimed at the same audience as Chucklevision.

My one objection to the entire show (apart from season three, but in my own personal canon, that never existed) was the fact they inexplicably killed Badger off halfway through season two. In the books, I think he lasted right up until the end.

For reasons unknown, it's only available on DVD in German and French. Hopefully, an English language version will turn up soon. With lots of shiny extras. And commentaries. It'd make the nation's 20-something year-olds very happy. I have honestly never met anybody who didn't like it. There's not many shows you can say that about.